As usual, being an honest and direct-to-the-point-me, I said that it's been hectic and the whole family is into it especially both our Momma[s] and definitely the over-the-moon adoring Aunties on both sides. Weekends are spend mostly meeting up with vendors or groomsmen or bridesmaid or just filled with discussion on wedding stuffs. And just last few weekends, we were totally swamped by the whole wedding favours + invitation cards fiasco.
And, what shocked me the most was that, she asked me a question, "SO, WHAT IS YOUR BRIDESMAID DOING ALL THIS WHILE?". And for a moment, it just strucks me, and I just answered, that my bridesmaid are helping us and guiding the wedding process all along and what matters most is that on the actual day, they will be the busiest people around and right now, I do not want to add more stress to them. Come on lah, basically, our Groomsmen + Bridesmaid are our own cousins or friends that are just like our very own siblings. I do not have the heart to burden people okay.
Then, this acquantaince of mine was telling me indirectly, that I am just troubling myself and usually for her group of friends, they would give a budget to the bridesmaid and let the bridesmaid handle everything. Oh well, all I can say...kau belom nak kahwin mana kau tahu?!!! So, kirakan siapa yang nak kahwin?? Your Bridesmaid or you?!!! And to top it off, she can actually mentioned that she doesnt like mothers to be involved in all this wedding preparations and stuff. That was another STRIKE. I may not know your mother but Hell yes I would know how she feels..and at this point, I felt bad for her giving birth to YOU!
To my understanding, Marriage is not only about you and your partner, It is not about the union of two souls but more of like a Union of 2 families coming together to be as ONE. And while we are at it preparing for all this crazy event, of course we would like everyone to join in the fun and share our happiness. Maybe, just maybe I am that person who likes to spread happiness all around and it feels good when everyone gets together to do something.
And furthermore, this are one of the proudest moments for Moms and Dads especially. Many at times they dont show their excitement, but being the not-so-observant me, I can even see Bonda [MIL], always so busy recce-ing places for wedding favours, bunga rampai, live band entertainments and keeping me up to date on Beau's side progress. And for Momma, she was equally excited on the dress that I'll put on, the colour themes and wedding favours and such.
For Ayah [FIL], though he doesnt talks that much, he always supports our decision and follow us to all vendors or recce-ing the places that we wanted to go without any complaint. Such was the patience and support that he gave us. And to top it all off, my Dad, he was constantly busy trying to DIY every single thing that I wanted and basically pour himself over the Catering menu and announcing proudly about our wedding to the other happy family members. Such was the loved that we've got and the patience he has for all my crazy ideas is absolutely terrifying.
So, Im asking the question back to YOU?!! How could you not include this people in for the biggest event of your life?! Or Maybe, my Momma[s] ARE BETTER THAN YOUR MOMMA. To me, kita kan berbangsa melayu. Ada Adat, ada Budaya, ada Agama.
Nak jadi se-moden mana pun, bukan tak boleh tapi berpada-pada. Kalau semua nak moden, semua nak ikut cara barat, well hello!! Kau tu pon bukannyer putih melepak sangat nak step orang putih kan?! Kalau dah memang melayu, berbangga ajelah dengan apa yang telah diberikan Allah S.W.T.
Betol tak kengkawan?!!
In fact, if you were to talk about not being malay and such. I guess, I am that one person who so-called will not be beheaded even if I want to step-ang mo style okay?!! Cos' as fate has it, on Momma's side, my Grandad always reminded me that we are not pure malay as his Dad was Dutch and that is something that we as Grandchildren needs to be proud about and for Dad's side, he has this Arab bloodline, that goes without saying why most of the family members are just oh-so good looking. As for me, though I speak Melayu hancur berderai lah jugak, I still considered myself a Malay and am PROUD to be malay.
So, my fellow BTB[s], I have seen enough weddings, read enough blogs, to be seeing that many of the Brides nowadays who totally forgot the traditional elements of our culture. And that is just sad people. No matter how modernised you can be, it should be shown through the mindset and thinking and not by adopting the West culture and pretend it's your own.
For me, let others see that maybe my wedding is one hell of a kecoh-rific affair. But at the very least, I know that it is embedded in my memories that it is filled with both tears and laughters from the people who loves us most.
Never change your roots people. Be proud of who you are. That is the words I live by every single day.
Till then,
Loved.
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